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Pinoy FM, your online radio! :: Iskizo Section (Ang bagong Rehabilitation Corner) :: Funny Jokes and Pics

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Post by purple_shadow Thu May 21, 2009 10:52 pm

liham
DEAR: BULAG

pakisabi kay Bingi na nanalo si Pilay sa takbuhan...

nagmamahal
WALANG KAMAY
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Post by purple_shadow Thu May 21, 2009 10:53 pm

Pasahe
Sa Isang Jeep

Pasahero: Mama, Magkano Po Yung Pasahe?

Driver: 7.50 Yung Minimum

Pasahero: (Dumukot Ito Sa Bulsa Para Kunin Yung Pera Niya, Ngunit sa Di Sinasadyang Dahilan Kulang Yung Pamasahe Niya.) Patay, Kulang Yung Pera Ko. Paano Kaya Ito? (Nag Isip Ito At Lumingon Sa Driver. Napansin Niya Na Duling Ito. Sabi Niya Sa Kanyang Sarili, Tama Duling Yung Driver Sigurado Pag Nagbigay Ako Ng 3.75 di Niya Mapapansin Na Kulang Yung Pera Ko. Kasi Doble Yung Paningin Nito. Inabot Niya Sa Driver Yung Pera.

Ngunit Laking Gulat Niya Nung May Sinabi Yung Driver Sa Kanya.

Driver: Kulang Ito!

Pasahero: Anong Kulang? Di Ba Sabi Mo 7.50 Yung Minimum?

Driver: Oo Nga 7.50 eh Dalawa Kaya Kayo.

Patay! Akala Mo Lusot Kana ha?
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Post by purple_shadow Thu May 21, 2009 10:53 pm

NO ID NO ENTRY
bakit ang sign na: NO ID ENTRY NO ENTRY na malimiy natin nakikita sa mga school ay hindi tinitagalog? Answer: Kasi pag tinagalog yan: WALA ID WALA PASOK...........
NGEEeeeekkkk
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Post by purple_shadow Thu May 21, 2009 10:54 pm

Chinese Names
Born during the night = Andy Lim
Born blind = Kenneth Sy
Born being swindled = Lino Co
Born while cooking = Nilo Toh
Born as 10th child = Sam Po
Born while being courted = Lily Gaw
Born fat = Bob Uy
Born little = Kathy Ting
Born different = Eva Yan
Born with porridge = Lino Gaw
Born looking for someone = Allen Sia
Born while counterfeiting = Faye King
Born during Sunday = Lyn Go
Born with malice = Mali Sia
Born angry with someone = Ally Tan
Born with picture = Lara Huan
Born with sweets = Ken Dy
Born undefined = Sam Ting
Born while taking a bath = Lily Go
Born not to take a bath = Dinah Lily Go
Born while buying = Bill Li
Born secretly = Tina Go
Born to pass flatus = Otto Tin
Born ugly = Kaw Yan
Born Normal = Nath Ting Wong
Born Abnormal = Sam Ting Wong
May reklamo ka? = Nath Ting
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Post by purple_shadow Thu May 21, 2009 10:55 pm

kutow
teacher: ano ang ating pambansang hayop

student:kuto!

teacher: may w sa huli

student: ah..kutow!

teacher: mayu sungay...

student :diyos ko po... eh di demonyong kutow
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Post by purple_shadow Thu May 21, 2009 10:55 pm

tae
pasyente:dok anu ba ang gagawin ko kc pag kumain ako ng duhat duhat ang tinataae ko
dok:bakit ganun hindi yata maganda yan?
pasyente:oo dok hindi na normal to dok,pag kumain ako ng saging saging ang tinatae ko,pag santol kinain ko santol din ang tinatae,misan langka kinain ko dok langka ang tinataae ko dok hirap na ako anu ba gagawin ko dok????
dok:madali lang yan kumain ka ng tae para tae ang itae mo bwaaaaaaaaahhh
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Post by purple_shadow Thu May 21, 2009 10:55 pm

vampires dinner
3 vampires having dinner



mayaman: freshblood please



middle class: dinuguan nga


mahirap: mainit na tubig na lang


may napulot kasi akong napkin


magtsatsaa na lang ako....

jejejeje
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Post by purple_shadow Thu May 21, 2009 10:56 pm

odorless otot
Isang lola ang nagpunta sa doktor, at sinabi, " Dok, me problema po ako sa otot ko po dok, hindi siya nangangamoy at napakahina po ng tunog, pero palagi po akong nauutot.

Sinabi ng doktor na pakiesplika ng mabuti, at sinabi ng matanda, " Sas katunayan po niyan 20 beses na po akong umutot simula po ng dumating po ako dito. Hindi nyo lang po siguro napansin kasi wala itong amoy at hindi ninyo naririnig.

Sige, inumin mo tong gamot, at bumalik ka sa susunod na linggo, sabi ng doktor

Bumalik si lola, "Dok, ano gamot ang ibinigay mo sa akin, bakit ang otot ay mahina pa rin pero ang baho naman ?

Magaling!! Ngayong nagamot ko na ang iyong sinus, susunod naman natin ang iyong tenga!!
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Post by purple_shadow Thu May 21, 2009 10:56 pm

Funny Pinoy Ads And Signs
posted outside a house
HOUSE FOR RENT,FULLY FURNACED

posted at a construction site
BAWAL OMEHI DITO,ANG MAHOLE BOG-BOG

in a restaurant in cebu
WE HAB SOP-DRINK IN CAN AN IN BATOL

in a supermarket
FRESH FROZEN CHICKEN SOLD HERE

in a building in cubao
NONE ID,NOTHING ENTRY

on a glass window of a photography shop
WE SHOOT YOU,WHILE YOU WAIT

outside a shoe store
WE SELL IMPORTED ROBBER SHOES

inside a jeepney
1. FULL STRING TO STOP DRIVER
2. GOD KNOWS HUDAS NOT PAY

in a chinatown in greenhills
LE CHENG TEA HOUSE

vacant lot near makati avenue
DONT PARKING
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Post by purple_shadow Thu May 21, 2009 10:57 pm

Si Doktor
educational tour ng mga estudyante sa mental hospital.sinalubong sila ng 1 doktor para sila ilibot
Doktor: nandito tayo sa kwarto ng mga baliw na akala nila sila ay mga bayani.yung isang yon na nakataas ang kamay,feeling nya may hawak syang itak,sya daw si bonifacio.
Student1: yun pong 1 nakapalumbaba?
Doktor: ah, akala nya nya sya si ninoy.
Student2: eh yun pong nakaupo?,mukha naman tahimik at matino ah.
Doktor: hindi iho,.baliw din yan,dahil iniisip nya na sya daw si mabini.feeling nya lumpo sya,pero kapag iiniksyunan na bigla syang tatayo at magtatatakbo. Hayyy..grabe na ang mga pasyente dito,wala na silang pag-asang gumaling.
Student3: ganun po ba? maraming salamat po dok,babalik nalang po kami ulit. ah anu nga pong pangalan nyo dok?
Doktor: ah, ako nga pala si Doktor Jose P. Rizal..... (amon)
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Post by purple_shadow Thu May 21, 2009 10:57 pm

CAPACITY
Anak: (nagbasa) elektrikity..
Mama: Anak. ELECTRICITY YAN. hindi ELEKTRIKITY.
Anak: Mama, ito ang turo ng titset namin. Bakit ka ba nakiki-alam?

Mama: (galit pumunta sa skol.) Mam, bakit tinuturuan mo ng mali ang anak ko? Instead of ELECTRICITY, ELEKTRIKITY ang tinuro mo.

Teacher: Hay naku MANANG, bobo talaga yang anak mo. Yan lang ang kanyang mental KAPAKITY. (capacity).
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Post by ara Fri May 22, 2009 10:16 am

salamat po
ara
ara
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Post by purple_shadow Fri May 22, 2009 4:24 pm

welcome po! Very Happy
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